Fandom High Office's Journal

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Dorm Assignment Master List
Last Updated: August 30, 2009

Unless otherwise indicated, non-listed rooms are vacant and available.

Maps of the dorms can be found by clicking on the image map linked

( First Floor )

( Second Floor )

( Third Floor )

( Fourth Floor )

( Fifth Floor )

( Sixth Floor )

( Attics )

( Roof )

Fandom High Office, Monday
There were extra-strength fans in the office today.

No, they hadn't magically appeared there.

No, they weren't literal fan-people.

They were actual fans.

On a related note, half the staff had a backache today, but at least the pine scent had abated.

Fandom High Office, Friday, November 6th
They had kept on searching, but nothing was to be found. The pine wouldn't leave the office, distracting them all with its delicate dance of fragrance. It was driving Bob up the wall: his fine gremlin senses couldn't take it no longer.

"Years I've trained to make sure you not smell like chompy-chompy," he groused, throwing something at the moose. "Stop this!"

The moose brayed at him, irritably.

A wrestling match ensued.

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, November 4th
A fresh pine scent drifted aimlessly through the office.

It frolicked, it danced, it wafted on the breeze.

It snuck into the printer, it upset the moose, it left the entire staff wondering when to wipe their caboose.

Fandom High Office, Monday, November 2nd
The hats were gone. As was the smell.

This was the first thing they noticed in the morning. With whoops and cartwheels, the staff ran into the office, spraying perfume everywhere and laughing. They had survived another Halloween! Nothing could touch them now!

Some days, even the office didn't get the concept of Murphy's Law.

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, October 28th
The hats had only been the start.

On Wednesday, it had been skeletons. And not even left-over skeletons from prom, or anything of the kind. No, pieces of bone - dinosaur bone, elk bone, fake -- they hoped -- human bone - had been left all over. Ida even extracted (tenderly) a chicken bone from the printer.

"Back to the daily grind," she sighed, and flicked it over her shoulder.

Fandom High Office, Monday, October 26nd
The moment the members of the office staff passed through the doors, they found their heads adorned by giant pumpkin hats. Nothing they tried managed to detach them - not even an unfortunate experiment with a crowbar.

Halfway into the day, it started to smell.

They hadn't even febreeze'd out the wet moose, yet.

Fandom High Office, Friday, October 23rd
The calm and quiet office day was suddenly interrupted by a dripping wet moose barging straight through it down from accounting into the HR offices.

A few moments later, the elk went the same way, braying as he trotted.

And finally, the melk-elkoose took half the route into the office, stopped, climbed up onto the table, and trumpeted.

Then he vanished.

"...Ida is getting a little dramatic."

"Ew."

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, October 21st
Homecoming was just around the corner!

Somehow, this failed to excite the staff, who took more to flopping around, staring at walls and sighing. Sighing.

They were still not over missing the fall break trip, and Ida was going nuts. "I swear I'm going to drop a bucket of water on the moose," she muttered, "That would show them."

Fandom High Office, Monday, October 19th
There was an awful lot of complaining and moping in the office today. Some of the staff peered outside with sadness in their eyes and ruined paperclips between their fingers. Sigh. Oh, sigh.

They had missed the rolling hills! The hiking! The dancing! Oh, woe.

Ida sighed. "For the love of God," she said, "You guys went to Hawaii."

They were still inconsolable.

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, October 7th
It had taken them two days to shake the mariachi, but now the office had taken a twist for the Spanish anyway. Indeed, they had declared it to be a Spanish Week, and they had shoved all piles of paperwork aside in order to get flamenco lessons.

Click-clack-click-clack-mooooo.

The moose and the elk were having some trouble participating.

Fandom High Office, Monday, October 5th
Every single human member of the staff had a hangover this morning.

They weren't going to discuss why.

Which was why Bob was tending to most of the functions that morning, and several people in accounting wound up convinced they were a mariachi band for the better part of the day.

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, September 30th
Fifty pencils in the ceiling, fifty pencils and two,
One falls down, smacks elk on the head,
Fifty and one office staff fled to the loo.

Fandom High Office, Monday, September 28th
After long and tireless deliberation upstairs, it was decided: Twitter could return to the office.

The workers celebrated by sticking feathers in their hair that read TWEET.

No one ever said they didn't know how to rock the whimsy.

Fandom High Office, Friday, September 25th
Today, the office looked like something out of a warzone. Every inch of the walls, including the dividers, had been written full of such comments as "@idaknow tell accounting there's a memo, duck!" and "@toteselksome I think I found a way to get the piranhas out of your antlers" and, finally, and somewhat disturbingly, "upstairs says it's time for the inquisition" stamped all over the watercooler in heavy black ink.

But there was absolutely no sign of the staff.

None at all.

Fandom High Office, Wednesday, September 23rd
On Wednesday, not only had the piranha problem been resolved, but new safety guidelines had been installed in the office through memo. Unfortunately, they were computer safety guidelines.

Ida was much confused by it. "What do they mean," she said, slowly, "'Don't insert plug into Mountain Dew'?"

SHe wasn't able to move on to the rest of the memo, though, because a sudden scream had pierced the air in the office, stopping all movements and causing at least one gremlin to lose his mug of let's-just-say-it's-coffee. "What? What?"

"Oh god," the temp whimpered. "They've banned Twitter!"

Needless to say, the mood in the office was pressing today.

The only thing that kept it from crashing immediately is that all female staff workers decided to take a half-day on account of materialising genitals.

Fandom High Office, Monday, September 21st

idaknow: Requisition filled! De-plush-penguinizer has arrived! (20 minutes ago from Twhirl)

watchmepullarabbit: HUOirarY!! (18 minutes ago from Tweetdeck)

idaknow: @watchmepullarabbit - But not your new phone with the bigger buttons. I'll give Procurement a call. (17 minutes ago from Twhirl)

omnomnomskywalkers: Piranhas in the men's room again. Look before you sit. People, stop bringing your pets to work! (10 minutes ago from Twitterberry)

idaknow: @omnomnomskywalkers - *Plush* fish. I said *plush* fish. Sorry! (6 minutes ago from Twhirl)

It was going to be one of those weeks.

Fandom High Office, Friday, September 18th
By now, the wall of offerings by the big penguin was so huge no one could quite look over, around, or past it. It was... palatial, that was for sure, but by now accounting couldn't reach reception, and HR... well.

They were lucky HR had an elk, was all we were saying.

Something had to be done.

With a trembling hand, Ida put in some requisition forms, and waited.

Fandom HIgh Office, Wednesday, September 16th
The penguin hadn't moved, of course. They had even tried, but pushing it didn't seem to help, and lifting it was impossible. So it stayed, wedged between the ceiling and the floor, imperious above the staff.

By that morning, they'd started to leave it offerings. Maybe it would leave on its own, if it got something shiny enough, or maybe a pomegranate or something. The fruit was already piling up, and at least one member of the staff had left a little plush bear sitting there.

The moose brought it a mouthful of grass.

Fandom High Office, Monday, September 14th
No one knew who'd left the giant plush penguin in the office.

It was just there, lording over their computers, so tall that his satisfied little head touched upon the ceiling. His scarf hung low, skimming the floor, and its feet.

Oh, its feet.

By lunch time, the entire staff had gathered up to stare at it. Yes, including the moose.